BEING A MAN IN AN AGE OF CONFUSION

Our purpose is to help us, as men, to understand why it is so difficult to stand up and assert our masculinity. Do we need to resort to forest clearings, smearing mud and paint on ourselves, and chanting around a fire to a drum....!?!?

SOME UNDERLYING 'UNSEEN' REALITY

In the area of human dynamics, much of what happens in the 'seen' realm flows out of the dynamics occurring in the unseen' realm of spiritual reality - it's unseen, but just as real as the 'seen'.  We are told in the Bible Satan is the head of a whole system of delegated controlling authority over areas/peoples].[1] [e.g.. Daniel 10:13,20 and 1 Jn 5:19] This contrasts with Ps 91:1 16, where God's 'shadow' of protection is highlighted, including angelic protection.[2]

God has set, in His creation, an established order, that, when adhered to, performs an inbuilt protective function. These are built around that concept so dreaded in our modern mentality "submission" - submission to a higher, protective authority. Several of these 'shadows' are amplified later in these study notes.

When even ungodly people abide in that order, there is safety. This is why unsaved people can find some measure of relief, for instance, from the chaos generated by modern concepts of child development, by adhering to scriptural methods of child rearing, and family structure.

When this ' shadow of protection' principle is understood, it becomes obvious why the biblical view of the nature of the relationships between men and women, adults and children, is so strongly under siege. When it is weakened, within a short time, order and security in personal, family, and community life collapses.

SHADOWS OF PROTECTION AND MARRIED MEN

The principle, as it applies to male / female marriage relationships is highlighted in SS 2:3! Another example of this in marriage is alluded to in I Cor 11:2-10.

There is a natural order that is not eliminated by becoming a believer.[3]

Both (married) man and woman are located in a (God-ordained) scheme of natural order, as well as spiritual.

There are cultural indicators in each society of submission to this order, and these are relevant to the Church, with regard to how its actions will appear to the surrounding culture (e.g.. at Corinth, the way a woman groomed her hair was a cultural statement in itself).

Paul raises the idea of covering here.  Abused as it has been, the fact is that a good godly husband is a protection for his wife and family,  just as a good leader is for their sphere of authority. Was this for 1stC culture only?  1 Cor 11:7-9  refers to permanent things (as does  1 Tim 2:11-15).  Adam and Eve's relationship was not part of lstC life only (nor for Israel only).

What is  1 Tim 2:11-15  all about?  The reference to Jezebel in the Thyatira Church [Rev 2:20-5] helps our understanding.  In the Greek, "domineer' and "exercising dominion over a man" are parallel words.  Paul is not talking about educational information being passed on by a woman to men, but rather, the aspect of authority itself [4]- This is a hard area for the Church to hold to scriptural ground against the spirit of the age, which opposes God's ordained natural order (and the safety benefits that flow from it's observance).

Both these passages point back to Eden, when God's order was simply seen - when Satan, the great deceiver, set out to destroy the peaceful relationships and environment - Gen 3:1-7,17 [note v20, where hope out of havoc is given by God!].  The seeds of chaos are all here in this deceptively simple autonomous action.  They were both innocent novices (and were therefore redeemed by God), but what damage!  Eve unknowingly moved out from her husband's protective ‘shadow’ [the NT word would be 'covering'] of authority, and Adam acted like a wimp!  He could have stopped her, but failed to act as a 'shadow' shelter.  This was bad government / leadership / headship.  They lived to suffer the loss of a murdered son as a result.

And we wonder why there's conflict in the area of authority and submission within marriage!  An older man said to me just before Elizabeth and I were married, "a really christian woman will acknowledge your headship in the union.  She will agree you should take the place,... but when you attempt to, don't be too shocked if she fights you all the way!  But if you let her win, she will despise you".  This is seemingly a lose / lose situation!  But actually, it's not a reflection on men and women in marriage, but of Satan and his schemes.

Christian husbands don't evolve into effective spiritual and natural 'heads' of their houses - it's a learned behaviour, which is not dependent on a man’s natural disposition (ie. Whether he is naturally forceful, decisive, dependable, etc).  Older men act as a protective shield for the Church too - they are less inclined to be swept along with the "latest thing"!

GENDER BENDING

The current gender / sexuality definition debate, with its trend towards 'no differentiation' undercuts a principle God Himself, ordained - given, ia., to keep men, women, and children, safe from spiritual attack. [5] The increasing demonization of the young is, by this connection, linked to the breakdown in the defined roles of male and female, especially in the context of family relationships. The family 'shadow has dissipated - Dad has effectively disappeared from many homes.  Sadly, many women have become the head of the house through abdication of effective headship by their husband, rather than "usurping" it in a dominant spirit.

This helps make sense of the upsurge of homosexuality. The breakdown of relational and practical male role modelling opens the door for the additional (and very, very powerful) inrush of demonic enslavement.

SOME PRACTICAL TIPS

Be honest about your decision making ability. Don't hide behind piles of work, and so avoid decisions you should be making. A few followed-through decisions will do more for your masculinity than piles of "projects to be finished".  The younger you start to do this, the better.

Don't get over-focused on one thing (especially work or a hobby / pursuit). Remember, responsible leaders of families, work situations, church activities) must have an overview of what's going on around them (and beyond them).

Seek responsibility, while still younger.  It's good for a young man to bear the yoke of responsibility, Lam 3:27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young - in Church, at home, work, etc.

Avoid unisex influences, whether it's hairstyles, clothing, or mannerisms.

Be very careful about your sexual thought life.  This is a major influence on all men (ie. we all live at level 1 of Dobson's levels of temptation).  It's not the temptation that affects our christian maleness, but rather, our response to the stimulus.  How we deal with it in an ongoing (and some would say, unceasing) manner.  Continually choosing the course that enables a man to live in victory over sexual temptation.