5/11/09  report from Joburg airport apron…. waiting, waiting, waiting....

We left good old Zimbabwe at lunchtime yesterday.  Harare International Airport’s computer system was unfortunately not working at all (you are shocked at this, no doubt), but the ground staff were as friendly as ever and simply did all the luggage tags by hand (with a biro – unfortunately we are out of marker pens), and then wrote “F/S” on the boarding passes.  What it stood for became clear when we boarded as it became a free-for-all when it came to choosing a seat to sit in.  The plane filled up, and we made it to Joburg on time.

The stark contrast between this approach to “organisation” became very apparent when we boarded a very old but clean 747 run by the most efficient nation in the world – the Germans!  Lufthansa pulled out exactly on time (6pm) for our 9-hour flight to Frankfurt (their hub), from which we would fly to Paris two hours later.  Ahhh, it’s great to be back in the civilised European world where everything goes according to plan…..  I had my beret and schoolboy French primed up, ready to go….

Well, ummmm.  That was what was supposed to happen!  Unfortunately (there’s that word again) as we trundled towards the take-off position, bits of the plane stopped working….  So we trundled back to the terminal - from which the first of a series of “every 30 minutes” announcements / apologies was made by the Captain in German, English, and French!

Impressed as we were by his multi-lingual talent, as I first wrote this, we had been sitting in the plane for nearly three hours at the terminal, not allowed off, air-con off for 2 hours, sweating, no food and a small drinks trolley only once passing by, and every 30 minutes another apology.  But worse was to follow....  We were then told they were trying to find a replacement part here in Joburg for an unrepairable part....  but were unsure if one existed in South Africa.  Oh, well, I asked the hostess which hotel we would be bussed to....  They looked quite flustered.  The smell of hot food wafted from the galleys, but none came our way.  In the meantime the (German) natives were getting a tad restless.

By 11pm, the Captain’s announcements took on a distinctly more desperate, and then threatening tone!  “Now some of you want to disembark back onto the terminal.  You may do this if you want, but you vill not be allowed back on zis plane, and your luggage will not be released before Frankfurt!!!"  Yahvol!!  All we wanted approaching midnight, was something to eat and drink, as most of the 350 on board had not eaten since lunchtime….  But still no food was served at all; the stewardesses were increasingly looking nervous.  No one seemed to have a plan B (or even C or D).  My admiration for the German gift of organisation was dissipating….

Back to the chaos....  At midnight, the threat of expulsion now turned to an ORDER to abandon ship plane as the mechanics “could not do the repair in the dark."  Huh?  The airport was ablaze with lights.  It’s sounding increasingly African-German.  So we wearily marched another km around this very large airport to reclaim our luggage, then traipse off again to queue up for accommodation arrangements.  About 350 people…  To find only two staff were there to process us all.  THREE AND A HALF HOURS LATER both staff (slowly building to 6 desks) and passengers had lost their sense of patience and humour and their respect for German efficiency, as the man in charge told us Lufthansa had no strategy in place for such a situation and they were doing it on the “fly” – which is all we wanted to do – fly!  Standing in queues, no seats in sight, with lots of elderly, and young children, until 4am…  Yet not even a bottle of water passed by.  No catering, nothing!!

Then several small buses turned up (which led to a shambolic display of push and shove), and we were driven to a very nicely appointed large conference centre 10km away.  It was 4.30am when they finally got us there (still no food, but Elizabeth and I cajoled a toasted sandwich off the merciful night staff).  And so to bed (alas, not in Gay Paree, but in boring old Joburg) by 5am.

I was pining for good old disorganised Zimbabwe!  Comrade, His Excellency, R. G. Mugabe would be laughing his head off at this embarrassing show of European incompetence…  Ah well, tomorrow is another day.  After 6 weeks in Zimbabwe and Mozambique, it’s wonderful to be back in the Western world and its punctual, reliable way of doing things.

At least it’s only the German flagship airline, Luftwaffe Lufthansa; if it was JAL, the Captain would have committed ritual harakiri by now and we would have to look for another pilot as well as a spare part.  To be continued from Paris....  Au revoir….  [Written from the airport hoping this time we get off the ground… and stay off the ground!]

12/11/09  from Paris in the Autumn

Bon jour from the Rensfords in Paris.  We have one more day left before flying to the Paris of the UK – beautiful Manchester – on Saturday morning.  After the delayed start, we have been flooded with blessing here.  Even the weather has been kind to us – started out on Day 1 at 7c max, and today was about 14c, and tomorrow they are predicting a mighty 15c!  To be honest, it’s been like mid-winter in Melbourne…. The skies are overcast in the morning, some overnight showers, then clearing away to a pleasant day and even a couple of (sort of) sunny afternoons!  Excellent walking weather….. and we have done plenty of that in the last 5 days.

So, after our 24-hour delay in Joburg, we didn’t arrive until Saturday morning, and despite being dog tired, walked down from Place de la Republique to the Isle de la Cité on the Seine, toured Notre Dame, the Palais du Justice, and walked back on another set of streets, finding on the way by accident, Ann Frank’s memorial garden.

Monday) we spent the whole day at the Louvre after walking there, and afterwards walked home through the Marais district including the Place des Vosges.  All very interesting, and with the weather being about 10c, it was more like being out and about in Melbourne mid-winter – bearable because we were dressed for it!  And no rain.  The crowds simply WEREN’T.  Touring in November certainly has its advantages….  We wandered around with no queues of any note, and covered a LOT of the Louvre.  Elizabeth was arrested trying to hijack one of Napoleon’s French clocks out the back entrance of the Napoleon appartements… But a quick call to Paul Keating and everything was fixed up, no worries….

Looking, ooohing and ahhhing continually.  So different from what we have seen in other places.  I can hear David (Di Ienno) saying, “now you are ready for Italy!"  The French penchant for erecting enormous monuments to anything they actually WON overpowers most other aspects of the culture.  I was even starting to look for an “ARC DE TRIOMPHE” for their nil-nil penalty shoot-out (Aussie English = chook raffle) win of the World Soccer Cup 9 years ago….

The Arc de Triomphe is a case in point.  It was begun by Napoleon in 1805 to celebrate his glorious military triumphs over the British, Russians, and a few other unfortunate nations that got in the road of his ego.  Unfortunately, he never got it finished before 1817 when the word “ WATERLOO" became a byword for Frustrated Froggy Failure.  So the completion of it was delayed until the 1840s.

They cannot understand why other nations (such as Australia and New Zealand) could make their most significant national day a memorial to FAILURE – Gallipoli is unthinkable to a proud people.  Arches, columns, buildings, museums have been erected all over this very beautiful city to successes – especially military ones – but there is little mention of the Vichy Government’s capitulation and collaboration with the Nazis, nor the slaughter of the (Protestant) Huguenots by the Catholic hierarchy in cahoots with the French monarchy, nor the massive defeat at the hands of Germany in 1870.  This makes it difficult for a people to learn from times of failure, defeat, and even suffering.

They are still plainly embarrassed by the capitulation of their Govt and the Vichy regime that collaborated with the Nazis.  I suppose the upside is that Paris was never bombed and destroyed, unlike so many other European cities in WW2.  I particularly enjoyed the extensive history from a European viewpoint of WW1 and WW2 at the Military Museum at the Place des Invalides (where Napoleon’s tomb).

We also went up the Eiffel Tower (again, queues were minimal), the weather was fine, and the views splendid.  Afterwards, we traipsed across town on the Metro to Montmartre, where we took the funnel-car up the Montmartre hill to the grand Sacré Coeur basilica at the top, took in the magnificent views of Paris below, and then wandered around the cobblestone narrow streets before having a meal of “mussels and chips and salad”.  And when I say mussels, I mean MUSSELS!  They were baby ones taken from the sea at Mont St Michel, and there must have been 70 on each plate!  We couldn’t eat them all, and the price was (by Parisian standards) quite reasonable…

The city is clean, works well, is well-ordered and safe.  The way it operates is very impressive.  Including the traffic flow, scooters, and bikes (no helmets here!).  Our weekly train ticket has taken us all over the place with the Metro (Underground) running mostly at TWO MINUTE intervals on nearly 20 different dedicated (ie. non-intersecting, so they don’t foul each other up if there is a breakdown) lines!  Send some politicians from Macquarie Street here quickly!  And generally speaking, Parisiennes are polite and helpful, PROVIDED you show respect in your initial contact with them.  The development of the EU has done amazing things to their old antagonism towards foreigners, so we have read in the guide books.

Every day, before we leave our very comfortable (and reasonably-priced – thanks to Michelle’s eagle Internet eye) hotel room, we pray that we will look, listen, and learn from being here.  Well, the last two days have been very special days.  Two days ago, we spent the day out at Versailles, and on the advice of a running friend who has spent quite a lot of time in France, sought out some places in the enormous grounds that we would otherwise not have known about.  This gave a real insight into the life (and death) of Marie-Antoinette – a 16 y/o Austrian girl married to Louis XVI as a political act between two great powers on the late 18^thC.  She was only 34 when guillotined in 1790.  Two of her four children died at birth, and you can see how she attempted to cultivate some kind of life outside the political intrigues of royalty, trying to make room for friendships, relationships, and other more normal pursuits – yes, some air-headed, but others giving some semblance or normal life to a world that was decidedly unreal. 

During our tour through the royal chambers, we walked through the incredible “Hall of Mirrors” that is the centrepiece of the 660m-wide main palace, with its stunning view over the gardens – which stretch for some 2km away from the Palace.  I said to Elizabeth, “this has GOT to be where the Treaty of Versailles was signed by the Great Powers at the end of WW1”.  One of the most significant days in modern world history – but we couldn’t see any evidence of it having occurred here.  A guide confirmed it was the place, and when I asked where was there any mention of it (photos, diorama, furniture, tableaux, etc), I was told the removal of all mention of it was deliberate, as it was not considered significant in the main purpose of Versailles – to record the wonderful history of France!  Not significant!!  The terms of that Treaty (especially the Reparations aspect), more than any other factor, gave rise to Hitler and the Nazi Party, as Germany struggled to pay an unpayable war “fine”. 

Then, by 11am (on the 11th day of the 11th month), we had caught the Metro up to the Arc de Triomphe, and joined the thousands who stood still and silent while President Sarkozy joined (for the first time in 91 years since the Armistice and Treaty of Versailles) with a GERMAN leader (Chancellor Merkel) and they affirmed their determination to keep Europe free from war.  It’s been 64 years since WW2 ceased, and Europe has prospered.  We were very moved to be a part of this significant day while both leaders of two great nations laid wreaths together under the archway on the tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  More than 75 million people died in the two Great Wars, mostly in Europe/Russia.  In Australia and New Zealand, so far away, the enormity of this number doesn’t really sink in – even with our own moving ANZAC Day remembrances, etc.  But here it does.

The other observation we have talked about several times is the sheer godlessness of the culture.  So much of even the Catholic artwork prior to 1789, glorified Christ, Mary, AND a large number of Greco-Roman pagan gods, all at the same time – the syncretism has stunned us!  There is virtually no evidence, in Inner Paris, of vibrant Christianity, and we feel very sorry for the people.  The churches are almost entirely monuments to a bygone “gloire” too….

We think something like reverse culture shock has hit us too, coming straight out of one of the most dysfunctional, ruinous societies on Earth (Zimbabwe) where virtually nothing works.  To such a sophisticated city / culture, where things simply work…. and work well!

Wearing the appropriate clothing is de rigueur here – Parisiennes really ARE the epitome of style.  You rarely see a sloppily dressed female here – of any age.  It’s very common to see women walking obviously more than from a car to a shop – in stilettos!  I don’t know how they manage it.  And walking in stilettos across cobblestones is an art-form!  But Elizabeth assures me it is about style over comfort.  So, it’s true!  Paris IS the high place of FASHION!!!  And their Opera House is the epitome of style - here's the foyer >>>

I joined in this stylistic approach by wearing my Swans hat and scarf everywhere.  And there were immediate dividends!  It’s a small world - when walking out of the Louvre, someone yelled from the crowd, “GO, SWANS!!!” I was deeply touched by this Parisian recognition of THE Beautiful Game (even if his accent sounded suspiciously Melburnian).  They’re everywhere!  I was besieged by autograph hunters who obviously mistook me for that past Swans’ epitome of style, Warwick Capper.

But, we are also amazed how many people smoke here.  Again, young and old.  Maybe that’s one reason why you hardly ever see anyone overweight here too.  Restaurants have been smoke-free for less than two years – resulting in even greater numbers of alfresco eating areas.

We spent the last day walking all around Paris's most famous cemetery - where the rich, famous, infamous (Jim Morrison and Oscar Wilde to name a couple), celebrities, and villains are buried.  Oscar Wilde's tomb is covered in lipstick where women have (recently) kissed it - contrary to  the warning sign.  Bizarre!

The avenue of Holocaust memorials was particularly powerful (and not just for the Jews, either; the other persecuted "inferior peoples" (Gypsies, Christians, Homosexuals, Disabled, Handicapped, Poles, Russians, Communists, are also remembered).  Seeing this just after Nov 11 Remembrance Day was even more moving.

My schoolboy French returned from the archives of my addled brain, and I was surprised at how much French I was able to recall – enough to shop, ask for help, and get around the place without too much hassle or confusion.  Ah, well, as we began with... next stop, the Paris of the UK - Manchester....